I’m going to stick these two days together, because they followed on from each other. They have been quite intensive days – Head to Heart journey stuff broken only by meals and very little free time! But so, SO good! We’ve also had some glorious times of worship :o) So I’m going to try give you an overview of what we’ve been learning (although it’s going to be almost impossible to do that! I’ll give you a little)...
· There are four major traps that us humans fall into (we can often identify with one or two of these especially, but will probably struggle with all of them at some stage). Here they are, with the truth that sets us free from them:
TRAPS / LIES (our understanding of the love of God is stolen from us through these) | TRUTHS (restoration of the love of God) |
PERFORMANCE: I am what I do | JUSTIFICATION: I am what God did. |
APPROVAL: The fear of man (I make other people God). | RECONCILIATION: God is my friend, He will never leave me. |
THE BLAME GAME: Those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished. | PROPITIATION: The debt of sin is already paid by God. He has taken the punishment. |
SHAME: I am what I am, I can’t change, I am hopeless. | REGENERATION: God says, “I am the change-agent, I am the Redeemer.” |
· Satan tries to steal God’s love from me, and offer me a different way to get love.
· When we have strongholds at root within our hearts, and arrows still stuck in us, we begin to assume false identities to cope. These can broadly categorised as:
The Hero | The Mascot | ||
Pride Guilt Anger Obsessive Inadequate Used Lonely Focus: on Doing and what is right (PERFORMANCE trap) | Super achiever A “do-er” Performance based Need to control Super-responsible Driven Do or Get it right Task over relationship Saviour complex | Anxiety Fear Confusion Insecure Lonely Focus: on easing the conflict, making everyone happy (APPROVAL trap) | Fun and humorous Clown Comic Hyperactive Entertainer Super-cute Avoids conflict Approval seeker Peace at all costs Avoids intimacy |
The Lost Child | The Scapegoat | ||
Unworthy Angry Depressed Inadequate Overlooked Lonely Focus: on not being seen or known (SHAME – fear of exposure) | Avoids conflict & stress Hiding – fear of being seen and known Cooperative Super-independent Withdrawn Often overlooked Fantasy world living Aloof Come close / stay away | Pride Angry Judged Rejected Guilty Lonely Focus: on pointing out what is wrong (BLAME GAME) | Defiant The Problem Negative attention Rebel Argumentative Negative escapes Lives “down” to expectations Judging or being judged Blaming Fighting against |
· These are false identities – we need to learn to see them in ourselves, and ask God to show us the strongholds that have caused them. We need to repent, and ask Him to reveal our true identities again. There may be some strengths in these roles, but they must come under His Lordship.
· But once you figure out what your strongholds are, what do you do about them?! They gave us a really helpful tool to use in day-to-day figuring out of this stuff! It’s called the Reflective Prayer Model (or “Trip in” – steps 1-4, “trip out” – steps 5-6).
1. Identify: realise there’s a problem, and write it down. E.g. You have a fight with your spouse on the way to a party. You would write down “Car ride to party”.
2. Pray. Ask God to speak to you, the Holy Spirit to help you work through all your thoughts and emotions etc.
3. Draw a table with three columns: Thoughts, emotions, behaviour. It might look like this:
Thoughts I am unheard I am being let down again I got all dressed up for nothing | Emotions Annoyance Disappointment Confusion Frustration | Behaviour I started nagging and mocking my husband, and then I got sullen and silent. |
4. Dig deeper
Thoughts Key words: unheard Stronghold thoughts: (these take the form of “I am” statements about yourself) I am unheard I am not valued. What does this imply about Love (distorted view of God)? God doesn’t hear me. He doesn’t value me. Love lets me down. | Emotions Hurt Distrustful | Behaviour (you don’t have to fill in all these columns – just let whatever needs to come out come out!) |
5. Confession and repentance. This is the beginning of the “trip out”. We’ve figured out the siff stuff... now what? The point is not to wallow in the nasty stuff! You’ve acknowledged it – now hand it over to God. Jonathan gave us a really great definition of repentance. Apparently it has the same root word as the word we get “penthouse” from. Repenting is like returning to the “penthouse” – returning to the high place, the truth about who I am. I is coming out of agreement with what the enemy says about me, and choosing to return to what God has said about me (remember, my identity is a done deal in Christ). It is helpful to right this confession and repentance down. Confess and repent for what you’ve believed about God and about yourself.
6. Encounter God’s truth. Ask God to speak to you – what is He saying to you? Allow yourself to just write down whatever comes into your head, trusting that He is speaking to you. After you’ve written that down, take time to consider what emotions you’re now feeling? And what could your possible behaviours be in the future if this situation arises again?
Thoughts (What is God saying to me?) e.g. My dear daughter, I have always heard you. Before the beginning of time, I was waiting to hear your first cry, and I’ve been hanging on every word since... etc | Emotions Loved Heard Understood etc | Behaviours Find a way to lovingly and respectfully talk to my husband about this issue Attempt to make suggestions without nagging etc |
What an amazing tool to have been given! I feel like over the last few years, God has highlighted so much stuff in me that needs to be dealt with, but I’ve never known how to successfully go about it! When we got some time to do some “trip in” rounds, I found it so easy and so helpful! It really helps to write stuff down like this to process it, but once you get used to the process, you can also use it on the fly in everyday life, helping you sort through emotions, and get to the bottom of some of the stronghold floating around in us all. I am SO excited about this! So simple, but SO great! And so necessary! We need to be honest with ourselves. We need to be kind to our hearts. We need to value our hearts and ourselves enough to work out our salvation day by day :o)
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