Our Papa Ken time this morning took a slightly different direction – we ditched Oswald, and he spoke a bit on family and relationships. Their family is going through a bit of a tough time at present, and it was so humbling to hear him being so vulnerable about it all. I believe this to be the sign of a great leader – someone who is not afraid to let you into their life completely, to see all that there is to see. And in the midst of the realness of their life – that’s where you find Jesus. After breakfast we did another chapter of “The Furious Longing of God”, called ‘Boldness’. Manning speaks about the Yiddish word “chutzpah”: supreme self-confidence, boldness, nerve, sometimes an obnoxious aggressiveness. “Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence (chutzpah) to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith.” (Hebrews 10:19-22) He tells a great story to illustrate chutzpah:
Ester Schwartz was in front of a hotel in Miami with her three-year-old grandson, Jacob. She absolutely adores Jacob. She bought precious little Jacob a canary yellow circular sun-hat so the sun wouldn’t touch the top of Jacob’s head. She also bought him a shovel and pail. Out on the beach, Esther marvels at Jacob’s grace: picking up the sand, putting it in the pail, picking up more sand, putting more sand in the pail.
Oh Yahweh, thank you so much for Jacob.
Just then a tremendous wave comes in, picks up little Jacob, pail and shovel, and washes them out to sea. Esther Schwartz is very upset. She looks up at the sky and shouts, “Who do You think You are? Do You know who I am? I am Esther Schwartz. My husband, Solomon Schwarz, is a physician; and my son, Billy Schwartz, is a dentist. How dare You do that?”
Just then, a second tremendous tidal wave washes little Jacob, pail and shovel, right back to his grandmother’s feet. Esther Schwartz looks up at the sky and shouts, “He had a canary yellow hat. Where’s the hat?”
That, my friends, is chutzpah.
When Bartimaeus is healed by Jesus, he drops his cloak – for a blind man, a cloak represented security, because often they would be thrown out on the streets by their families (who considered them cursed). He dropped his security to follow the one named Jesus. “The one thing we owe absolutely to God is never to be afraid of anything.” Charles deFoucauld.
1. If Jesus were to ask you, right now – what do you want? – what would your answer be? Seriously, what would your answer be?
2. Bartimaeus had to drop his security blanket. What represents security for you? How is Jesus asking you to drop it?
We had another session with Jonny and Mel this morning, talking about our up-coming trip to the World Race this weekend. The World Race is an AMAZING missions organisation that sends groups of young people out on a crazy eleven month adventure, during which they visit eleven countries! They serve in any way they can in these eleven countries, loving people, and bringing the Kingdom to them. Two of our fellow 18Inchers (Sydnee and Michael) have just recently returned from the World Race, so they also gave us some idea of what it’s like, and told us some of their stories. As you can imagine, some of their stories are WILD! It sounds like the experience of a life-time, for reals. They accept applications from 21-35 year olds... anyone keen?! I am looking forward to meeting more of the World race family, and seeing the new racers who are being prepped to be sent out. It’s going to be a 10-day camp for them, although we’ll only be there Saturday night, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday morning. Jonny and Mel are going to lead one session of worship on Saturday night, and three each on Sunday and Monday! Apparently many of the racers come from more traditional church backgrounds, and so this weekend will be their first encounter with this kind of worship! Also many of them know little to nothing about the Holy Spirit – so we’re trusting for exciting things to happen. Both Sydnee and Michael say that the encouraging words they got during their training camp were things that they could return to throughout their trip to keep them motivated. How exciting that we get to be a part of this preparation of nation-changers?!
After lunch and clean-up, we had a session of work duties. There was a LOT of kitchen-time for me today! We got a little bit of free time in the afternoon... and then we had an evening session with Stephen, his wife Rujan, and a lady called Daena who are our guests for the next few days. They are taking us through a brief, intense version of what they call “The Head to Heart Journey”. Their ministry is called “Healing for the Nations”, and they hold retreats every month at which they teach the same kind of stuff. If this evening’s session was anything to go by, it’s going to be an amazing week. For Grahamstown HPers, it’s kind of like Victory Camp stuff (for non Grahamstown HPers: this is an intense weekend where we allow God to deal with past hurts, addictions, sins, generational curses etc etc. It’s always very exciting, because He always sets people free!)... but it’s more like: after God has done stuff at something like Victory Camp, how do you walk out your victory on a day-to-day basis? They are sharing with us the tools for how to do that. It’s what they call practical or applied Christianity. So here are the highlights of the intro:
· Pain is important and good, because it alerts us to the fact that something is wrong and needs to be seen to. We need to pay attention to our pain. Emotional pain/strong emotion (anxiety, fear, confusion, anger, rage etc) are indicators that something is going on on the inside. Don’t just ignore it and carry on with life! Is it the situation that has cause the emotional response? Something someone said? Why did it affect you like that?
· All of us have got arrows in our heart – things that people have said/done that have hurt us (intentionally or unintentionally). If we leave these arrows unaddressed, strongholds begin to grow in our hearts. A stronghold is a lie energised by satan. When we have strongholds, we begin to believe lies about our identity, and we stop believing what God has said about us. Once there is a stronghold, the chances of us receiving arrows greatly increase – it’s almost like we pick them up even when people weren’t intending to give them. We can try deal with the symptoms (our behaviour: for example, getting moody/angry etc or running away/ doing drugs etc), but unless we’ve dealt with the root, we will still always struggle. This is because thought + emotion = behaviour. For example, when I think: “She pushed in front of me; she was intentionally rude to me”, I think begin to feel angry (emotion), which results in the behaviour of pushing her out the way. Even if I manage to stop my habit of pushing people around (behaviour), I still haven’t addressed the problem on the thought/emotion level. Hope ya’ll still with me...!
· The arrows in my own heart keep me from intimacy – think of literal arrows sticking out of me: intimacy can push the arrows further into my own heart (hurts can be re-enforced by proximity), and the bits sticking out of me can also hurt the other person. Chances are this other person has arrows of their own too... the tragic dance of the arrows.
· There is an identity war going on. My identity was established once and for all at the cross. Nothing can change it. Arrows come with lies about my identity. With arrows in my heart, I live out of a warped heart-condition, which wars against my true nature in Christ.
· We constantly have two “selves” at war within ourselves – there is the spirit self, which has been redeemed. This is a done deal – God was the initiator, and our biggest job is just to receive. Our identity is already established. Then there is our flesh (mind, will and emotions) that is constantly in need of redemption (present tense progressive).
· When I have strongholds in my life (sets of beliefs and lies that block my hearing, stop me from understanding, and affect my “voice”), they have three areas of impact: my identity in Christ (self-worth), my relationships with others, and my view of God (which becomes distorted).
· CRAZY THOUGHT: If I fail in something, and call myself a failure based on that thing, I am giving more value and authority to the thing I failed at than the cross of Jesus. Think about this: I fail an English exam = “I am a failure”. I am agreeing that the English exam has more authority to speak about my identity than Jesus’ death on the cross. Eeep!
It’s going to be quite the week...!
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