20 July 2011

After breakfast today, we headed down to the worship room, and an amazing time of worship. Joel led us in a kind of meditation on Psalm 23 – The Lord is my shepherd. It was such a beautiful time; it felt so refreshing. Always so good to remember how good He is, and how well He leads us and lloks after us! I think it was especially great because we are drawing near to the end of our time here, and we’re all perhaps a little nervous about leaving this incredible haven! Here’s an interesting Psalm 23 related thought: it sounds pretty ordinary to us (who have heard that psalm many times) that David compared God to a shepherd. But it would have been a revolutionary thought for that time! David was comparing God to something he knew very well... he was himself a shepherd, and he knew how to lead those sheep well. And perhaps one day he thought to himself: “Hey, God probably leads me better than I lead these sheep!” And so he wrote about it. What if we did the same thing, using what we know? For example: “The Lord is my teacher, I shall not lack for wisdom. He teaches me... etc” What a fresh, new spin that puts on Psalm 23 for me! Try it :o) Next we had the extreme privilege and joy of hearing Molly Skaggs’ story. It is a really beautiful story. She is so abandonedly passionate about the things she loves (especially music and family!) that one can’t help being set ablaze by that passion. She reminded me of something Don Potter said to us a while back – “Jesus is what people love about music”. I think that is so clear in Molly’s life :o)

After lunch, we had another collective session. We’re still figuring out how to arrange the different sections of the song. It’s quite a lengthy, time consuming endeavour, so when our brains all felt a little fried, we went galloping around the field, and played a few silly games for a bit, before coming back and carrying on :o) I taught everyone a fun game that we used to do for drama warm-ups! We really have become a family! These fun moments make it so evident. And we had more fun to come – movie night at the Burbach’s! Pizza and the King’s Speech (definitely one of my favourite movies of the year) is a good way to end a day :o)

19 July 2011

After breakfast we gathered in the worship room. Mel came in with a bag full of interesting objects (a pig in a tutu, a carving of a bird, interesting bottles, a toy plane, a Russian hat; to name a few!). The assignment was to choose an object, and then write about it – whatever came to mind. We were told to write flat-out for half an hour. If we felt like we couldn’t write any more about one object, we could pick another and carry on writing. It was just to get the creative juices going! I found it rather relaxing too, which was great! Then Mel, Jonny and the rest of the staff came back in, and we found out what we were about to do next. We made a huge circle, and we were each going to get the chance to step out into the circle, and sing out a song by ourselves to the Lord. There are some of us who have never sung before, and others who have sung lots. But there’s a big difference between singing on stage, and singing out an honest, heartfelt song to the Lord in front of others! We were all pretty petrified!

So we started out just singing together, getting into God’s presence, worshipping Him. Jonathan said that we were creating a kind of whirlwind together, and that as we each took a turn to step out into the middle, we would be carried by those winds. So... we did it! It took me a while to work up the nerve, so I waited quite a while. But eventually I went for it too. It was such an amazingly liberating feeling! There were tears again, but they were good tears! I only remember pieces of what I sang... but the part that stands out the most was, “You can use my voice, You can use my voice – but that’s not why You gave it to me. You just enjoy it when I sing...” God was dealing with a whole lot of wrong ideas I had about why I have a voice, and what it’s meant for. We started just after 11am, and we were there until just after 3! I think some of the most exciting ones were the people who thought they couldn’t sing – in whom God released new voices and new songs. VERY cool! :o) We had a rather late lunch after all that, and then did some cleaning of the farm. Natural rhythms of life; swirling in the glory, and then scrubbing the floors :o)

After supper we met with our small groups – so as usual we headed off to the Burbach’s house. I’m so glad to be in this small group, nothing beats being in a house for a meeting like that! We split up into guys and girls again, and had some great conversations about what God was saying and doing. It was also really good to be able to process the song moment from this morning out loud with other people. We ended the evening by making a Twix pie, which we’re going to have together after lunch tomorrow :o)

18 July 2011

Today we split up into guys and girls again. After breakfast, we all packed lunches, and then went off on our separate ways. Us girls had our picnic lunch in a beautiful Arboretum, with a bit of a park with swings etc. Next we went off to a beautiful shop called Anthroplogie (yes, that’s how it’s spelt!), which is kind of like a mix between YDE and Space. Plus kitchen ware and beautiful house-hold stuff. It’s very beautiful! But also rather expensive, so we kind of just looked at stuff longingly! :o) On our way back to the farm, we stopped for milkshakes at Chick Fill-A. Some of us changed into pjs, and then headed up to Mel’s house for coffee, biscuits and girl talk. Which got pretty deep and intense, but was good too! We had Chinese food for supper, danced around to some crazy music whilst we cleaned up, and then ended the day with The Devil Wears Prada! Girl day from beginning to finish. We found at later that the guys had been noodling for cat-fish, jumping off bridges and re-enacting war scenes from movies. So different... Ha ha!

17 July 2011

I was spoilt absolutely ROTTEN today! Katharina told me a few days back that she wanted to book me for this morning – and that she was going to organise what we were going to do. At 9:30 I was ushered into the dining room, where her and Kathrin had set up the most unbelievable breakfast! There was scrambled eggs, toast, tomatoes, mushrooms, turkey bacon, blueberry muffins, amazing jam, coffee, orange juice... BEST breakfast I’ve had in aaaaages! I was completely overwhelmed. And then I found out that there was still more to come... MK came to pick us up, and we set off to Greensboro to do some shopping. And then Katharina bought me two beautiful new skirts! I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend do anything like that for me before! I really was close to tears for most of the morning.

Katharina

As soon as we got back from that, I joined the music collective who were meeting in the worship room. We’re doing more rehearsing for the song we’re going to record together. It’s a BEAUTIFUL song that Hannah wrote, and when she first played it to us all, we all got SUPER excited. We all started hearing parts we could each play, and wanting to get involved straight away! So today we were mapping out different sections, and figuring out what works where. After that, Nathan, Camryn and I went to Cookout (where I had my first corn dog! They’re pretty good!) and then Walmart. I had to exchange some yoghurt for Mary, which turned into more of a mission than I had imagined it’d be. I ended up running up and down Walmart – which is NOT small! But it turned out to be a good thing... on one of my runs past the teller I had been at earlier, she chased me down to give me half of the stuff I had already paid for – but accidentally left behind! Funny how that could seem like an annoyance can actually turn out to be to our benefit... :o)

After supper, a few of us headed out on a quest to find ice-cream, so I got to visit Ben&Jerry’s for the first time. GOOD STUFF, yum yum! When we got back, we played some cards. What a full and happy day!

15 - 16 July 2011

We had a very relaxed day on Friday, recovering from all the adventures that came before! After breakfast, we met to chat about our highlights from the Apple Hill trip. I shared with everyone about my dream, and got rather teary about it (tears seem to have become a theme for me lately, ha ha!). everyone prayed with me, and then it kind of went into a time of prayer over everyone; especially agreeing together that the things we feel we’ve been given, or that we’ve learnt here in this special place, won’t be lost as we return to our homes, and the various situations that are waiting for us all. It’s just so good to be surrounded and supported by family like this. After lunch we had a free afternoon, and then after supper we had the extreme privilege of listening to Justina’s story. The hand of God has been so evident in her life –protecting her... and we are all so grateful for it!

Saturday was also very relaxed – I think we are all still feeling quite tired! I did my laundry this morning before brunch, and then was entertained by the few energetic people who managed to join in with the weekly aerobics. We did a bit of farm cleaning today, and then we transitioned into Art Day. We carried on with the mapping projects we began a while back, and I managed to finish mine today. What a great feeling! When we were done, we got to wax them. This is a great way to finish a piece – it gives it great texture. And next, we rubbed some tar over the wax. This helps give it a more antique look. Everyone’s finished productions looked SO great! So different, but so special.

A little later we had supper together outside, at the cook-shack. And then we traipsed up to the Helser’s house to watch Alice in Wonderland, projected on a screen set up in their garden. We had sodas and home-made kettle-corn to go along with it. Happy days :o)

14 July 2011

I had a dream last night! To explain how monumental this simple statement actually is, I have to give you some back-story on my dream life... Just about a year ago (literally, this time last June/July), I had a series of really terrible dreams. For a few (nearly consecutive) nights, I had dream after dream of things being lost, stolen, destroyed etc. for example, in one my car was stolen; in another I went through all the agonies of childbirth, and then the child was stolen; and the creepiest one by far was when I dreamt that someone had snuck into my room during the night, and shaven off half my head of hair. At the time, I didn’t really know how to process these dreams, and so my response was (as it often has been) to just shut down and ignore them. I literally haven’t dreamt since then – a full year! A few nights ago, I had another dream in a similar vein – I dreamt that all the things I’d brought with me to North Carolina were stolen. Not a happy first-dream-in-a-year! But last night I had a GOOD DREAM! Here in Moravian Falls, this “thin place”, God came into my dreams! It was pretty simple and very short – I saw an enormous, beautiful, sturdy old tree, planted in the middle of a lake. Everything was hazy and misty, with soft twilight lighting (very Lord of the Rings!). A huge silver ladle appeared, and scooped up some of the silvery water, and brought it over for me to drink. I stood there taking in long, refreshing draughts of that beautiful water. Yay God! So I woke up feeling super refreshed and peaceful :o)

After packing, getting breakfast, packing lunches, and thoroughly cleaning out the lodge, we gathered on the front porch to bless the place. It was a great time of praying together. Then we all bundled off into the vans, and set off on the day’s adventure. We drove into the Blue Ridge Mountains, and stopped at an apple tree on a hill – which is where David proposed to MK about 2 years ago. After lunch together, we got out our poetry books, and read out loud the poems we had written in the van on the way to Apple Hill a few days before. Here’s mine (eeek):

Becoming

I have always been saddened by trees cut down

Lives cut short; their browning leaves

The cracking, crashing of the bones of the earth

But somehow, this pile of logs radiates hope

Belligerently humble, they wait in expectation

Of greater things to come 

Being here, this home away from home

I find things familiarly strange, strangely familiar

And – still deep in shadow – hope for the new begins to grow

There are four red leaves in a sea of green

A few pink flowers; the seasons’ change

Somewhere a family pulls chairs up to a new table

After hearing everyone’s poems (they were amazing!), we got back into the vans and set off to a waterfall. It is SO beautiful here, it reminds me quite a bit of Hogsback. We walked down through the woods to the river, and found a few natural slides that some people went whizzing down. We kept migrating further and further up the falls, clambering over rocks, finding pathways alongside the river. The water was icy, so I didn’t get too far into it! But I got to take some great pictures of the stunning surroundings. By the time we’d worked our way back to the vans, we were exhausted but very happy! We stopped at Chick Fill-A for supper on our way home. It has been such an unbelievable week of blessing and being spoilt by God and our amazing staff. I am so very grateful!

13 July 2011

We had a late breakfast this morning, after a good sleep in! We had the privilege of hearing Martha’s story in the late morning. I love these story times so much! It’s so amazing to be let into a kind of ‘behind-the-scenes’ peek at these beautiful people’s lives. After lunch we had a free afternoon, which I managed to pack quite a lot into! I played cards with a few friends (scumbags and warlords again; it’s really catching on!), then read some of C.S. Lewis’ “The horse and his boy” to Katharina (she’s busy reading her way through The Chronicles of Narnia). Also got a chance to tinker on the piano a little :o)

My highlight of the day, though, came after supper, when we headed up to the worship room again to meet with Suzy and Kamran Yaraei. I love these two! I have only heard from them one time before – in April when I was at the weekend worship school in Johannesburg (which is also where I heard Jonathan and the band for the first time). Some highlights from what Suzy and Kamran said:

·         It has to all be about heart – we can’t make church a job. My greatest gift is not my gift, but my heart. I am more important right now than after some great accomplishment.

·         Always keep pressing in – failure is the smell of success.

·         There’s nothing to wait for – I am the revival, I am the movement of God, I am the voice, I am the sound!

·         Restoration of the tabernacle of David: the tabernacle was David’s heart! God was wanting to restore David’s heart, to remind him he had a heart after God’s own heart. God wants to restore the tabernacle of Ella! I can’t restore other people’s hearts. Everyone needs a restoring of their own hearts, with Jesus.

·         The time of the reign of David was a time of great joy. God wants to restore joy to us – you can’t have real joy without being properly connected to your own heart.

·         In “charismania”, we can get very used to doing what we do, just because we do it. Some people wave a flag during worship every week, and will get annoyed with you if you try to take it away from them. Are there any “flags” in my life that I need to lay down? Anything that I’ve made my personality, or that I draw identity from, that I actually need to give up? What are the things that I am doing just out of habit? What do I spend the most time thinking about? What are the things I need to be divorced from so that I can marry deeper intimacy with Jesus?

·         If it doesn’t produce life, it’s not of Jesus. We have Jesus in our hearts – we should be addicted to life. Life also equals freedom.

·         Jesus doesn’t add anything to us, He just prunes and removes. Like a planted tree, fruit cannot be added to us! No gardener in his right mind goes and tries to add apples to a pear tree. But as He prunes us, we grow bigger, and become more fruitful. Everything we could possibly need is already inside us! He continues to unlock new rooms within us, and prune away what we don’t need. He doesn’t prune us or take away from us because He’s selfish, or because He wants us to suffer. He does it to strengthen us. He unlocks and He prunes – knowing this leads to peace.

·         We shouldn’t ever have to pretend. Pretence is religion. Sometimes we can love God, but not necessarily love His ways – and it’s ok to tell Him that! We need to be honest with Him. When you’re digging a well, you have to dig through all the mucky stuff to get down to the clear, good water.

The good stuff! So simple, so beautiful, so refreshing, so life-giving :o)

12 July 2011

After breakfast we had our second session with Don Potter. He also gave us each a copy of his book “Facing the Wall”. I am looking forward to getting into that! Some highlights from this morning:

·         Lots of the worship we are called to do is to bless those who are not yet there. When a sound goes out, it keeps going, and it keeps on having an impact. We have no idea of the effect the songs we sing are having! Even when it looks like nothing is happening, the sound is still going out. Don’t get addicted to the immediate reactions of people – God’s smile is the best reward.

·         It is impossible for God to NOT be present. If He wasn’t right here right now, we wouldn’t exist – He holds everything together. It is simply a matter of recognising His presence. He gives us authority to silence all the other voices and noises so that we can hear Him. Authority equals “knowing” in Hebrew. We need to KNOW God, be intimate with Him.

He then changed tack, and asked us what subjects we’d most like to hear him on. He began listing a few, and honestly we could have sat there all day, and listened to him speak on every one of them! What he actually began speaking about was the dangers of misinterpretation of scripture. It’s difficult stuff to summarise, so I’m not sure I can give the highlights from it! He swept through a brief overview of church history, highlighting places where scripture was misinterpreted or badly translated; and places where it was taken away from the common man. He apologised to us, as representatives of our generation, on behalf of those who have gone before us, and (usually unintentionally) mislead us. When Paul lists many sins in Romans 1, one of the ones he deems greatest is the suppression of truth. Remove anything from the truth, or even slightly distort it, and it is no longer the truth. As a church, we have been part of the guilty party – Paul says that the wrath of God is poured out on those who suppress the truth. Where we have misinterpreted God’s truth, or kept it silent, a curse has been poured out. But curses alight were they will – on those in and outside of the church. But it is possible to change the mind of God (like Moses did, when he interceded on behalf of the Israelites); we spent some time repenting on behalf of the church, and also all the nations represented in the room. And then we blessed them all! We don’t know what effect that had on anyone or anything, but we trust that a sound went out from us, and that it IS having an affect!

After lunch, we had a free afternoon. It was great spending in the beautiful lodge with our family :o) In the evening, a few of the people who live in the area gathered together in the lunge with us. they meet every week, usually about 15 of them – so we greatly swelled their ranks! We had a beautiful time of worship together. There’s something really special that happens when different generations join together and proclaim who God is! We heard some wonderful stories about things God has done, and then we prayed over a few people, including one man to whom doctors have recently pronounced a death sentence. We sang life into him, and blessing over him! We are looking forward to hearing his story of miraculous healing! It was a long, full day, and my brain and heart feel a little overloaded! But we ended the evening with a ridiculous game of French charades, which helped! We divided up into teams, and then spent some time coming up with scenes to be acted out, which we wrote down on slips of paper and placed in a hat. For example: “A drunk, one-legged ballerina is taking lessons from a tyrannosaurus rex dressed in a tutu.” Then a group would send all but one of their team-mates out the room. The remaining team-mate chooses a scenario, and then one of the other team-mates comes back in the room to see the silent performance of the scenario. Even if they have no clue what’s going on, they act it out as best as they can for the next team-mate, and so on down the line. It’s a little like the physical equivalent of the game “broken telephone”. The last team-mate has to try guess what the heck the scenario was, from a performance that almost always looks nothing like it should by that stage! What a fantastically funny way to end the evening!

11 July 2011

 

Excitement was in the air during breakfast today, because we had been told that we were going away on a trip, but we still didn’t know where too. We met after breakfast in the worship room, where we were told to pack for 4 days (including today), and to make sure we had our journals, history books, poetry books and swim-suits. After that we did a quick clean of the farm, and then packed up. After making sandwiches to pack for lunch, we squished into the vans and set off. We were given an assignment for the van ride – to compose a poem about anything that caught our attention, or anything on our minds. It could be short or long, whatever we felt like doing.

So after about half an hour of listening to some good music (on my 512MB mp3 player – I need to arrive in ipod, for reals!), I began to write about a pile of logs on the back of a truck. They just stood out to me for some reason... I’m not done with it yet, will have to make time to finish that! Excitement was building the whole van ride, cause we still didn’t know where we were going – but we were still completely unprepared for the ridiculous amazingness of our actual destination! We are staying in an exquisite lodge called Apple Hill, in Moravian Falls. It is a huuuuuuge place, and it’s so wonderful for the whole family to be staying together under one roof! There’s a basement, ground floor and upper floor, and large lounge areas in the basement (which is where we gathered to hear Joel’s story) and on the ground floor. There’s a piano, and a porch on either side of the lodge; one overlooking a horse paddock and hills dotted with apple trees. And we’re in Moravian Falls! The Moravians were an amazing movement of people. They’re worth reading up about! They had a prayer vigil that lasted a hundred years! And an incredible missions movement was born out of that. When they first bought this massive piece of land, they deeded it to “Jesus Christ” :o) Many men and women of faith have lived here, and had encounters with God. This place is what is called a “thin place” – a place where heaven and earth easily intersect. Apparently it’s the second most angelically visited place on the earth at the moment...(?) When the couple who own the lodge first moved out here, he frequently saw a man dressed in a pilgrim outfit (like the Moravians wore). In fact, their neighbours once asked them why they were dressing up in pilgrim outfits, when they had done no such thing!

Another super exciting thing about today (as if it could GET any more exciting!) is that we got to meet and hear from Don Potter. What an amazing man! We met in a beautiful 8-sided worship room that he and a few other carpenters (who also happened to be worship leaders) built. They built it in 2000, and it’s at 2000 feet! There’s a spot right in the centre of the room that, if you stand there and sing, amplifies your voice (just in your own ears) in a crazy way! Lots of fun! He speaks so simply, but with such authority born out of a life lived in deep intimacy with Jesus, some highlights:

·         God is not afraid to contentiously fight me, it’s ok for me to voice my doubts and fears. He wins every fight He gets into anyway! He will take charge.

·         When we are worrying about the future, we aren’t engaging God in the present. He is the “I AM”.

·         God is what people like about music (whoa, this hit me hard! Every time someone hears music they like, it’s God – since music comes straight from him anyway!). Music doesn’t need to be redeemed, because God never lost His grip on it, it has always belonged to Him! (I suppose it’s just that sometimes the artists need to be redeemed ;oP ) The anointing is on the listener, not the person playing music – God opens our ears to hear, He changes our ears.

·         God wants to be known my His voice. I shouldn’t try to judge who He is or what His character is like by what goes right or wrong in my life. He wants to be known for Himself, outside of what my situation or experiences dictate.

·         Blessing in my ministry (blessing in any form) is NOT fruit. Blessing is not necessarily a sign that you are doing the right thing, or that you’re in God’s will. What lives beyond you, and beyond who you are, is fruit.

·         There is  a difference between anointing and activation of that anointing. “The Holy Spirit IS (present tense) upon me, I have BEEN (past tense) anointed to...” This is important, because it is possible to minister out of your anointing, without it being fully empowered by the Holy Spirit. This will cause you to burn out, like running out of oil. We need to minister out of the Holy spirit, in His power.

·         Jesus healed people and raised the dead through “dunamis”, which is translated in our bibles as “power”. But it should more correctly be translated as “character” or “moral excellence”. he had perfect moral character because He was God. When we pray for the sick, it is not our power or our own “moral excellence” that has any affect – but Jesus (and His perfect character) within us. God is dealing with our character.

·         God has NO MEMORY of my sin! He is not suspicious of me – He trusts me!

·         I was with God before the world began. I live now in a state of constant remembering. I agreed to live this life, to look like I look. I am remembering everything I have always loved about Him, and I am remembering myself – who I was always meant to be. I am “remembering” myself back into relationship with Him, like Adam in the garden.

·         As a worship leader, it is imperative to cultivate times of intimacy in private. It is difficult to have truly intimate times when you are leading others in – so you have to have been there before. When you are leading people in, you are acting as the head – and “God kisses the head, but has intimacy with the body”. (Don speaks more about this in his book “Facing the Wall” – God took him out of leading worship for a season, so that he could learn to sing for God alone in a private place.)

After our time with Don, we came home and had cake in celebration of Chris’ birthday. We had to whisper the happy birthday song to him, because the Helser kids (Cadence and Haven) were already sleeping! It made it tricky not to laugh uproariously!

10 July 2011

Hurrah for a great sleep-in after yesterday’s busyness! It was lovely to have a bit of a lazy morning. I got a chance to catch up on some emails and do some internet stuff, and then got to hang out a bit with Justina. I ended up showing her a whole lot of ridiculous and random videos that happen to be on my computer (if you’re a close friend of mine, you know what I’m talking about...!). it was a really fun time. Next I had a chance to do some piano-in, which I loved. And I also did some practicing with Katharina – we were going to be performing her song later. The highlight of the day though was just after 3 in the afternoon, when Molly and I had a music geeking-out session. We listened to various pieces of amazing music, chatted about them, drank them in, squealed, laughed... and generally got very excited about it all :o) After that Camryn and I ran through his song for open mic too...

After supper, we began to gather out in the area we had hosted the party last night – under the trees and stars. We had some yummy sundaes with lots of different toppings, yay! And then open mic night began... They seem to just keep getting better and better! Well, I think it’s safe to say that they ARE. Because we’re all discovering our own voices and sounds more and more, and you can see and hear it through what comes out of us! It is truly a privilege to be here, surrounded by all these RIDICLOUSLY talented poets, musicians, song-writers. These are the sounds that are shaping our world :o)

9 July 2011

After waking up early to do laundry, I was very ready for our 11 o’clock brunch! There was a short time of family aerobics after lunch for anybody who wasn’t feeling too full to move! Soon after brunch, we did some work duties, all preparing the farm for tonight’s blessing of Awake Church. I was with the group that cleaned out the outdoors cook-shack. After about 45 minutes of intensive cleaning all over the place, we gathered back for more instructions. We also had to make a few more cards, because we had only just received a new list of names of people attending! Then we started setting things up – a BEAUTIFUL group of tables out under the lovely trees, with proper china plates, hanging lanterns, beautiful table-cloths etc. There was also lots of kitchen prep to be done, of course. After a quick shower, and supper of pizza, we headed out to our duties. Kim and I were in charge of welcoming people, and directing them to the guys who would show them where to park. We greeted them at the gate to the farm with a little note for each person – requesting them to leave behind all their cares and distractions at the gate, and prepare their hearts to be loved by the Father. It was fun standing out there, giving warm welcomes, and listening to the beautiful strains of music floating out to us from the little stage where some of our 18Inch family was providing some background music. After just over an hour of welcoming people in, we went up to join the party. People were already having a great time, getting drinks, standing around chatting, finding their seats and cards, listening to the music.

There was a team of servers moving about between tables, bringing food and drink re-fills. There was some beautiful music performed by Molly and Jake. There were amazing poems read by David and Jessie. As a family, we just loved the socks off that church family :o) A few of us were assigned to start on dishes about halfway through the evening, and even that was great – hanging out and doing chores with family. Even though it can be hard work, and you miss out on some of the party, those are really the times I love. That’s what makes me really feel at home. You know that you’re trusted to play your part to make the whole a success. And being asked to do “chores” is what happens in real family :o)

Jonathan Helser and Matt Peterson, pastor of Awake

Right at the end (but before the last major clean-up), we had a bit of a dance party (of course)! We celebrated the evening together, and had fun as a family. All in all, it was the most ridiculous success of an evening! People loved it so much! And you could see how much it meant to them. I love that things like this are just natural at the farm. That’s just how we love people – extravagantly! This is how I want to live my life.

8 July 2011

Time with Papa Ken was kind of a continuation of yesterday, which was really great. There was a lot of stuff that came out of that one Chambers reading! What we were talking about today was how Jesus trusted people, but didn’t “entrust” himself to them. i.e. He believed in the good in people, He trusted them with secrets about the kingdom, He trusted the disciples to spread the good news... but He didn’t let people dictate who He was. He wouldn’t let them crown Him, or make Him the kind of messiah they had hoped for. We can trust people, but we don’t let them dictate who we are, or speak into our identity. Only God can do that! We broke for breakfast, and then on our way to the art room for art day, I ran into Papa Ken again. He gave me a big hug, and said, “You know, you’re such a delight!” Made my day :o)

So... art day today. We started with a journal assignment. We had to ask God: “Where have You taken me?” If this summer was a map, where/what would be the beginning, and where/what would be the end? When we came back, Justina got us to do a fun “family portrait” exercise, just to help us loosen up. We were divided into groups of about four, and then we had to pose as if for a family portrait. Then, one by one, we would leave the group, and draw one of the others on our group’s large piece of paper. Then that person would rejoin the pose, and someone else would come and draw them! We used a kind a modified blind-contour style (only allowed to look down at the page a few times), so some of them turned out to be VERY funny! We coloured them, and then hung them up. After that we were sent outside again to go find our very own board for our new art assignment. They were hanging up all about; it felt like a treasure hunt! We had to return to what we had written in our journals, and begin to plot out how we’re going to represent our journey on this ‘canvas’. It’s a kind of mapping project. We carried on after lunch, and I went about printing out maps of Grahamstown, Durban, South Africa and North Carolina. I’m ripping them all up, and am going to layer them all over the background. It’s going to have something about a wall coming down, music rising up, and an open door... but we’ll see how that all works out! I am really LOVING time on the art room! I want to keep doing more of it, even when I’m back home.

We also had our collectives today. We did a bit more “music appreciation” (listening to some great songs, and sharing what we though/felt about them) and also some more music theory. I sent some time after that fiddling on the piano a little, which I really enjoyed. We also had a GREAT supper tonight (we had a test-run of the supper we’re serving tomorrow night for the Awake Church blessing!). We had planned to have another open mic evening tonight outside, but the rain began bucketing down (GLORIOUS, I LOVE rain!), so it’s been postponed to Sunday night. So we had a family movie night instead, and watched ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ together :o) I also managed to squeeze in a bit more time in the art room after that! Loving it!

7 July 2011

This morning started with Papa Ken and Oswald Chambers on “disillusionment”. We usually think of it in a negative sense, but he means it in a more positive way – perhaps it’s more like “UN-illusioned”. If you don’t set up great illusions about the people around you, you’re less likely to be disappointed by them. Never expect from other people the things that only God can truly give you! It reminded me of something I’d heard ages ago... “God is never disillusioned by or disappointed with us, because he never had any great illusions about us in the first place!” Imagine if we really lived like that – seeing people as they actually are, not placing huge expectations on them, and then making it their problem when they “disappoint” us?!

After breakfast, we met with Jonny in the worship room. There were so many nuggets of truth that came out of him this morning! He sent us off with a God time prompt – to look back/remember prophetic words that have been spoken over our lives; choose one that stands out for the season that we’re each in now, and then write it out in our history books. We then gathered back and each had an opportunity to read them out to each other. The idea is that when we know what God has said about each other, it helps us fight for each other better. Also, we can remind each other of what He’s said when we’ve forgotten it for ourselves. Like God speaking creation into being, we can speak new realities into being for ourselves and others. After each person had shared theirs, we all said loudly over them (in the same way God said “Let there be light!”), “Let there be Katherin/Hannah/Rosemary”. For a few days I’ve been feeling oddly “fuzzy” inside my own head. Kinda unclear on what’s going on, and feeling rather thick and unable to use my brain! NOT a good feeling! So when I was reading back over prophecies I’ve recently been given, one from Papa Ken stood out. He said something in the word he gave me about God giving me Vitamin B12, which helps with brain activity. I looked up all the things that vitamin is used for, and asked God to speak about them. Here’s what He said:

Vitamin B12 is used for

·         The brain: I am a “holy thinker”. God can think His thoughts through my mind. I have the mind of Christ. My brain is NOT foggy or insufficient! It is clear, and able to perceive.

·         Nervous system: I am sensitive, aware and perceptive. I am a “feeler”. I am compassionate and empathetic. I am a people-gatherer. “You are so full of love that you love to love” (Papa Ken again!)

·         DNA synthesis: I am aware of the core. I bring things back to what matters; I am part of building what matters (family). I gather together the hearts of people. I am re-discovering what God intended my DNA to be.

·         Energy production: No apathy, no half-heartedness. I am alive in Jesus, and it is abundant life. I am created to soar.

“Let there be ELLA!” :o)

After that, we did a bit of a World Race de-brief, each sharing our highlights from the time. Then we thanked God for all He did, and handed it all over to Him. Melissa and Jonathan also outlined the plan for this coming Saturday night – we’re going to be hosting a party for all the volunteers from Awake Church (the church in Winston-Salem that we visited in June); about 80 people. The plan is to overwhelm them with love, and create a space for God to refresh them. It’s going to be GREAT! The farm knows how to do things extravagantly, with huge amounts of love! One of the things that Jonathan said today stuck out so much to me: “Home is where we live out what we preach about.” It’s not enough to do great ministry out there somewhere, or travel from church gathering to church gathering – are we living it out at home? One of the ways we’re going to bless the people coming on Saturday night is through hand-made cards for each of them. Since there’s so many people, we’re going to have to make a few each. We started that after lunch – each of us was given a few names, and we prayed over them, and asked God for specific words to say to each person. Talk about being prophetically stretched! And yet we did it like such a natural thing! That’s the way the prophetic should be!

After a great supper of taco salad (one of my favourite meals here, I think!) we had some free time, so a few of us played some card games – Warlords and Scumbags again, and also Spoons, which I’d never played before, but which is quickly becoming one of my favourite games!

5 - 6 July

After breakfast (oatmeal, YAY for no fish soup!), we packed up, and said our goodbyes to our friends. We piled back into the buses, and set off for the farm, yay! It ended up being a marathon trip – for some reason we ended up making so many stops for “potty” breaks! We also stopped for lunch at a restaurant called "Moe's", where we got HUGE burritos, chips and a drink each. The drink machine was FASCINATING! It had a bewildering amount of choice - over 100 flavours! Under the category coke, there was lime coke, orange coke, rasberry coke, diet coke, normal coke... It went on like that for every type. Craziness! I mean, peach Sprite...?! :o) We eventually got home, and unpacked. It was SO wonderful driving back onto the farm – it really does feel like home now! You instantly feel at peace and welcomed here. I dyed my hair before supper (and then showered, HURRAH after the filth of a loooong trip!), and then gave it a trim afterwards (long overdue!). A few of us girls played some crazy card games after supper, was SO much fun! We also ate some freshly-baked cookies with milk, yum. After a good long sleep, I did some laundry early on the morning of the 5^th, and then proceeded to have a super chilled day. It was so good to have some relaxed time to process some of the stuff that happened over the weekend, and some of the stuff I felt God was saying. He’s been highlighting to me a lot about my voice (both literal and symbolic). Mel prayed for me during one of the times of worship about healing in my voice – which can be taken in so many ways. I’ve had prophetic words before about healing coming to people as I sing over them, and God has been reaffirming that in the time I’ve been here too. But He’s also been speaking about restoring my voice to me – restoring what was lost or diminished of who He made me to be, and what He made my voice to sound like. Also, in the same way that slaves sang songs of deliverance to themselves (they would sing the directions to freedom in their songs), when I sing, I sing healing to myself: I sing my own healing my own heart. This is all pretty cool, I’d say :o)

Hannah and I watched The Two Towers this afternoon, and then we all headed off to the Burbach’s house for pizza and a movies, whilst the rest of the staff had a staff dinner with Jonny and Mel. We watched The Truman Show, and when we all discussed it afterwards, it was remarkable how much we could tie it to all we’d been learning from the Head to Heart journey we did last week (all the stuff about arrows and strongholds and identity etc)! After the movie, I went to bed as soon as possible to get ready for Papa Ken time early in the morning. I am rather excited about getting back into the usual rhythms of our life here!

4 July 2011

Independence Day! All of our American friends seemed rather sad that not much was made of the day – but we were in the middle of Asia day at the World Race training camp... so besides them saying the pledge (there was no flag to salute – so they made do with one of our 18Inchers representing the flag, complete with acting out undulations in the breeze), there was not much we could do. We found chopsticks at our breakfast table... and FISH SOUP for breakfast. Can I hear an EW? Noodles, sardines (it was supposed to be some other kind of fish, but that’s what they had) and broth. Won’t make it onto my list of top ten all-time best breakfasts! After breakfast, a guy called Jimmy spoke about bitterness and offence, and how important it is to deal with those things in our lives. Highlights:

·         “Sooner or later, we have to choose between what is right, and what is easy.”

·         Forgiveness is not contingent upon remorse or apology – if we had to wait for that, we’d wait forever in some cases. We have to be quick to forgive.

·         When we hold onto offense and bitterness, it’s us trying to make a cage to trap the person who hurt us in. But that cage does nothing to them – it doesn’t help the situation at all! All it does is remind us of what happened, which hurts us even more... and we ourselves become imprisoned in that cage. We need to release others so that we ourselves can be released.

There was another great time of ministry – where people had the opportunity to release the people they had been holding offence and bitterness against. It seemed quite fitting that this was all happening on Independence day!

In the afternoon, Michael Hindes spoke again:

·         Romans 8: Good news! Imagine if Paul had died before writing Romans 8? Phew! Glad he didn’t! The good news is: when God looks at me, He sees Jesus, because that is who I am hidden in.

·         But: Jesus expected us not just to be regenerated, but also to be empowered by the Holy Spirit.

·         When Jesus spoke to the woman at the well, He told her that He would give her water that would well up within her to eternal life. One version speaks about the water “bubbling” within and then “gushing” out. Michael told us his testimony about the Holy Spirit. He said when he was saved, he knew that there was something bubbling within him. A few years later though, he had an encounter with the Holy Spirit – he was baptised in the Holy Spirit (by himself at home! He had never before heard anyone speaking in tongues until strange words came out his own mouth!). When his wife came home, he prayed for her, and she received the same gift. And after that, people would come to be prayed for – people were healed, released of depression etc. now the water that had been bubbling inside was gushing out. God had empowered them!

We went into another amazing time of ministry – praying for people to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit. My highlight from this time was when Mel said something about God releasing a new voice within everyone... this spontaneous sound began welling up and out of everyone. I have never heard such a thick, juicy sound arising from a congregation! It was possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever heard – each voice there raised and freed: allowed to be its own voice, worshipping our Father!

This evening was a crazy celebration time of worship. We started by praying for a team of people who are going to Kenya. Suddenly my African heart was pounding, as I heard all these fervent prayers for our continent. Before I knew it, I was up on the stage, singing things like “Vader, ons bid vir U hand oor die land van Afrika”, “Woza Moya, uyingcwele” etc etc! The two other South Africans ended up joining me, and we were singing bits of “Bambelela” and “Jabulani”! And doing some crazy dances! The place erupted into a party celebration for Africa – interceding for her in her own style! It was so great! What made my heart the happiest though was hearing my 18Inch family cheering me on, and then surrounding me and giving me huge hugs and pats when I got down again – it felt good to be supported by them, and hidden and protected by them! YAY for family! The rest of the evening was such a celebration of God’s love for us, and everything He had done in people over the weekend. I loved seeing our family worshipping madly, and the World Race family going for it with all their hearts too. My highlight was near the end when Molly began singing a song about being a free bird, and then she started whistling a melody. It brought so much joy, and even more freedom. What a weekend!

3 July 2011

Every day of the World Race training camp is themed on a country/culture. Today was Latin America day, so we had Latin American meals, and were supposed to practice some Spanish and some Latin American cultural greetings etc. Breakfast was great – some kind of scrambled egg with something tomatoey in it; and taco chips. After breakfast, we had a time of worship, and then Michael Hindes spoke. He’s GREAT, I enjoyed him so much! He’s definitely a provocateur, and you can see that he enjoys stirring things up! He’s one of those completely unboxable people – he himself told us that many people struggle to label him. I suppose this is what makes him so good at meeting everyone where they’re at. He comes from a more traditional background, but has had some crazy Holy Spirit experiences, and I think he’s going to be pivotal in helping some of the people here really hear what God is saying, and helping them be more receptive to some of the glorious Holy Spirit madness that may or may not break out soon...

Some Michael Hindes highlights:

·         The church is in a box created by herself. We need to get out of it, and get back to asking ourselves: what was the original plan for church? It’s not just about getting people into heaven – it’s about getting heaven into people.

·         When Paul wrote, he often gave doctrine before direction. In Romans 6, he speaks about doctrine in the past tense: we DIED to sin, we were BAPTISED into death, RAISED from the dead. But then the direction is: so that we too may LIVE a new life (present continuous). What Jesus did for us is already a done deal – we are already righteous, we are already seated in heavenly places. Now it just remains for us to live out what we already are.

·         The law is like a prescription for a disease – it is not the healing itself. The law was meant to “look after us” until the healing came. We have already been saved and baptised in Him – the law is no longer necessary because the healing has come.

·         Colossians 3:1-3 “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” When we were bapuised into Jesus, we were dunked into him like pickles (gherkins!) into pickling juice – we are in Him, and He has seeped through us – changing our taste, flavour and even make-up. Or like a cloth dunked into dye – we have picked up His colour, and are forever, irrevocably, changed.

·         Romans 6:7 says, “For he who has died is free from sin”. Just like an alcoholic at his own funeral – even if you offered him a beer, he wouldn’t be able to take it: he’s dead. We are dead to sin like that. Our experiences may be different to this – we are still tempted (and may give in) to sin; but God’s truth is that when we’re in Him, we’re dead to sin.

·         Colossians 2:13-15 – Jesus took the mortgage that was out against us, and nailed it to the cross. When His blood ran down the cross, it washed away our debt. His blood cleaned the mortgage. Sin no longer has mastery over us – we are dead to its power.

·         When sin is no longer in our lives – we no longer need law or Religion. (Romans 7) Law only has authority over me as long as I live – but I have already died (in His death)!

·         The Message says that when we were married to the law, we only brought forth stillborns and miscarriages. But we are now divorced from the law, and married to Christ; and we now give birth to His fruit (effortlessly). Galatians 2: 19-21 (The Message) “I’ve quit being a law man, so that I can be God’s man.”

·         This is the TRUTH, even when our experiences say otherwise (Romans 6:12-25). Paul realised that he was now free from both sin and the law (because he was “dead” to it), but that he was still being brought down somehow... by himself! Did you know that one form of Roman punishment for the offence of murder was to tie the body of the person to you! The dead body would be strapped to you limb by limb, and you would die a slow and agonising death as the body began to rot, and the infection spread through your body. God wants to separate us from that “body of death”: He can remove it from us!

 

We had a little bit of free time, and then our Latin American lunch... and then returned for another Michael Hindes session:

·         Because of the “dead body” strapped to us, we all smell a little – it’s usually easier for us to smell other people first; or blame our own smell on them! But it’s usually the decaying body tied to us. YUCK! It is not God’s plan for us to smell – God intends to fill the earth with the smell of life.

·         There are four major areas we stink in:

1.       Iniquities: these are the weaknesses or proclivities that we each have. They can often be generational – like the way certain diseases or things like anger/divorce/depression etc can be passed from generation to generation.

2.       Generational curses: words spoken over your family and you that begin to define your reality. They can be words spoken over you by others or by yourself.

3.       Judgement and vows: when we speak blame/curses/negativity over others; or when we say things like “I’ll never be like him”; “I’ll never try that again” over ourselves. Judgement is like a boomerang: the harder you throw it out at others, the harder it comes back towards you.

4.       Soul ties: unhealthy soul connections.

We went from that session into a “dance off”. As an 18Inch school, we were up against a group of 18-21 year olds who are part if the “Real Life Immersion” division of World Race – they’ll be visiting three countries in 8 months, soaking in the culture and ways of those countries. We very narrowly lost to them; we were divided into smaller groups within our teams, and some of ours were rather more vigorous than others! One of the songs my group had to dance to was “Circle of Life” from The Lion King – which we all thought was rather funny; me being the South African and all! We also had our supper – burritos (yum!)

A lady called Allison carried on in the evening session from where Michael left off earlier – with soul ties. She told us her powerful testimony about how God set her free from soul ties. Basically, a soul-tie is when you feel yourself connected in an unhealthy way to anyone else. They most often come through ungodly sexual encounters, but not exclusively. It’s when that person dominates your world in some way: perhaps their opinion comes to matter more than anyone else’s, even God’s. You find yourself unable to function without them, unable to make decisions etc. No one should be replacing the role of God in your life. There was an amazing time of ministry after this, as people asked God to free them from soul ties. For many, this was the first time they had ever heard of them, and you could see lights coming on for people all over the place – realising why they had been struggling with some of the things they’d battled with! It was very exciting to see! And more tomorrow!