12 June

We visited the church Awake again in Winston-Salem. There was an AMAZING time of worship – the guy who had been practicing at the farm yesterday was leading worship. One of the highlights was a song whose words I can’t actually properly remember... all that I DO remember is that the general gist was... “Pride, hurry up and leave so I can sing/dance/worship the way that I want to.” It said what I often think during worship, so it was great to be able to sing it out! And then act on it :o) Worship was followed by a GREAT sermon! Some highlights:

·         You have more right now in you than you might think you have.

·         The lie that we all struggle with: “Do [insert whatever] and THEN you will [be better/have arrived/be who you want to be etc]”. satan (as Jon Acuff says – small letter “s”, which is the grammatical equivalent of the finger! HA HA) said to Eve, “Eat of this, and then you will be like God.” But she already WAS like God! She didn’t have to DO anything – she was already made in His image. satan always tries to tell us that we’re missing something we need that we don’t yet have; or that there’s still something we need to do. This keeps us from walking in the inheritance that we ALREADY have!

·         The enemy hates a confident daughter or son. He will always try to bring about doubt and uncertainty.

·         We already ARE so much. We already HAVE so much. We do not lack anything. We are fellow citizens of God’s household; we are chosen, royal; we are God’s field and His building; we have been made complete; we are raised in Christ. We are righteous, holy and loved. We have been given eternal life.

After church we went off for lunch at Rosemary’s house – one of our fellow 18Inchers. Her family bravely offered to provide for us all! It was an amazing meal, we were all STUFFED by the end! We sat all over the house and the garden in little groups – and after lunch I taught some people some rounds (like “By the waters, the waters of Babylon” etc – for those who know it!). they sounded AMAZING! Before we left we prayed (and sang, as usual!) over Rosemary and her family (parents and a brother and sister).

When we got back, Hannah, Katharina and I watched The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, yay! It was great to hang out and relax. After the movie, I helped Hannah with a song she was writing. She had the melody and words, but wasn’t sure what chords to use for it. It reminded me of early song-writing days in Grahamstown, ha ha! She was so excited, yay! She said she felt like I knew what was on her heart, and was helping her express it. It’s amazing how much of that God is doing here – setting our hearts in harmony.

After supper we ended the day with Erin (one of the staff) telling her story. She felt like God especially wanted to speak through her story about God’s heart for the restoration of family. There was a time of prayer afterwards, and God was doing lots of stud – probably in almost everyone’s hearts! Family can be so messy, even though it can also be so beautiful. It was interesting, cause even as God was dealing with some hurt in my heart to do with physical family, He was also speaking about spiritual family. And also dealing with some of the deep rejection stuff I feel like I’m always trying to deal with! Right near the end, some of the staff members gathered around me and just “loved on” (isn’t that just such an American phrase?!) me. They just kept telling me how much they love me, how much they appreciate what I add here – the flavour I bring. It was completely overwhelming, but so AMAZINGLY good! I blubbed away for ages! Molly suggested that I go listen to the song “Slow your breath down” by Future of Forestry; so I did! I had listened to the song before, but had never really listened to the words. I was amazed! Lay on my bunk listening to it and crying again... but laughing too :o)

Slow Your Breath Down

by Future of Forestry

This chest is full of memories; of gold and silver tears

I'll give you more to own than all of this...

And I'll give you more than years

For you were once a child of innocence

And I see you just the same

Your burdens couldn't win or lose a thing

Oh, I'd tell you once again

But you're always on the run

Slow your breath down, just take it slow

Find your heart now, oh...

You can trust in love again

Slow your breath down, just take it slow

Find your smile now, oh...

You can trust in love again

If you leave I'll still be close to you

When all your fears rain down

I'll take you back a thousand times again

I'll take you as my own

I will sing you songs of innocence

'Til the light of morning comes

'Til the rays of golden honey cover you

In the sweetness of the dawn

But you’re always on the run

Slow your breath down, just take it slow

Find your heart now, oh...

You can trust in love again

Slow your breath down, just take it slow

Find your smile now, oh...

You can trust in love again

You're not alone

You're now a part of me

You feel the cure

I'll feel the toil it brought you